How to become a hymenoptera connoisseur

So the weather looks pretty promising for the weekend (if you like it hot and sunny, of course) and a few bold souls are even predicting that it will be a warmer than average summer. One thing more assured than a warm summer is the annual invasion of those yellow-striped lager louts of the countryside, those ultimate picnic crashers – wasps.

You might even be lucky enough to be stung by one – on average everyone is stung twice in their lifetime. But what do you do once the urge to hop around swearing and cursing passes you by?

Well, perhaps you might feel tempted to compare ‘sting notes’ with your friends and relatives. But how do you do justice to the many faceted delights of the sting experience? How do you verbalise every throbbing nuance?

Well, you could take a leaf out of entomologist Justin Schmidt’s book. He has been ‘sampling’ the bites and stings of the planet’s hymenoptera (wasps, bees and ants) for years and has taken the time to jot his thoughts down as an aid to future venom connoisseurs. His self-titled ‘Schmidt Pain Index’ consists of a helpful grading system (out of four) and even includes some helpful (and masochistic) tasting notes.

If you are not so keen to get sampling, and you were hoping that our long, cold winter might have killed off all the wasps, there is some bad news. Usually, wasps and bees start to come out of hibernation as soon as the weather warms up which, if it happens early, means many can be caught unawares by late frosts. This year’s persistent chill has kept them dozing for longer, meaning they are coming out in force too late for a frosty cull and this year is predicted to be a bumper year for biting and stinging insects.

So, next time you get a venomous gift with your cheese and pickle, or some extra fizz in your lager, take a moment to savour the experience.

Read and download this week's Cosm here

This week's graphic: Get to know your wasp, ant and bee stings... yum, yum!!